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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Alex. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a goat on Strada Mării. A goat! Just chilling like it owns the place. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” He swears it was there, munching on some grass like it was at a buffet. I can’t even.

Țuca Zbârcea & Asociații successfully advises MOL Romania on the opening of the first two service stations located on the A2 Motorway